Edits are for Pussies.

If you're one of my loved ones, sorry I haven't been in better touch. I live in New York now, and I have work. I'm managing to keep my head above water, which is more than can be said for a lot of smart folks. In other words, I know how fortunate I am to be blogging, even though I have work in the morning.

Speaking of work, I was offered a strange project a couple months ago, that I have yet to follow up on. I should work on that. Resident genius: if you're reading this, please pick up the phone when I call. If you do not, I understand.

It is somehow freeing to be typing directly into the christforsaken textbox inside this internet browser. It feels like I'm commenting on a facebook link. I'm sure my grammar is suffering for it. Fuck you grammar police. I went to your academy, I knew how to spell, but that was not at one o'clock in the morning, and your gestapo bullshit will get you nowhere. Save it for the office coffee break; late night, we make our own rules.

Rule number one: don't click on everything you see on buzzfeed. Case in point: although I was delighted to see an image of a thousand men crammed into a flatbed truck, I was disappointed to see a woman inserting her fingers into a fashion purse designed to resemble an open vulva. These links were on the same, Bob Saget friendly page. Old Saget, not new Saget, you dig?

And disappointed would be the wrong word. Embarrassed is more fitting. I was embarrassed to be looking at that picture while my wife sat next to me. But then, at least I was not alone, no?

More things: my sister in law is here, and she brought her boyfriend. Today, they ventured farther out into the Atlantic Ocean, than I will ever go. They went to Long Island, like deep into Long Island. This is a place I do not have the capacity to fantasize about. Not that I would, but I can't even imagine it. I guess there are nice hiking parks, and strip malls west of those parks. Also there is a labratory where they x-ray brain samples for free, but that means nothing to you. Forget I said anything. The brother of the esteemed boyfriend is also worthy of great esteem. We all shared dinner and it was amazing.

Yesterday was Halloween. The whole damn country reveled in having an extra hour this morning. Some waiters, who fancy themselves writers, took notes inside a textbox and posted it for people to read. And the dog slept, and the wife worked, and nobody went to work groggy in the morning.