Speaking passionately from the House floor, Representative John Boehner (R-OH) blasted the Democratic Budget Resolution, claiming President Obama's budget would "rob our children, and grandchildren, of the opportunity to become alcoholic congressmans [sic] from the Ohio... fuck that!"
Boehner contended that Obama's budget, which will spend about the same as his predecessors budget, if his predecessor's wars had been factored in at the time, will crush our children's chance at a future. "We promised our children the opportunity to become anything they want to be," said a visibly drunk Boehner while loosening his tie, "that's the American dream!"
Boehner was unable to conclude his argument coherently, as he was busy choking back whiskey bile and receiving the sexual favors of Representatives Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor.
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